Welcome to She HAS a Mother.
If you are an alienated parent feeling isolated and broken, you are not alone. I am glad you found my website. Trust me, YOU really aren't alone even though it feels like it. I say that not to just assure you but to remind myself. Parental Alienation is so suffocating and overwhelming that still after 15-1/2 years (2nd & successful attempt) of being alienated from my now 21-1/2 year old adult daughter and stepson nearing age 40 I still get speechless and have my grief breakdowns from the trauma of my children not being in my life and everything that happened to them, to me, to my family.
Point Blank... YOU didn't deserve this. Your KIDS certainly NEVER, NEVER, NEVER should have been EVER forced to be so cruelly abused by the hands of their own other parent FOR NO REASON! I am sorry this happened to you. To Your kids. To everyone in your life that this hell effected.
Listen. She HAS a Mother. is now 10 years old (5+ years after my daughter was taken). The one thing I can truthfully state is there are still no concrete answers how to stop alienation. There is no one answer how to get your kids back. But you can get your own life back. I know I am still trying myself and have entered another whole entire new phase to further find healing and recovery (new??? I guess not actually new but maybe a new angle with the amount the amount of years doing this and new healing opportunities). That is why I am re-starting my blog... to go with a huge amount of new healing opportunities and the these past experiences that includes healing that has gotten me to this place in life that I am. Yes, I am still very overwhelmed (hence re-introducing only basic Q&A's to start) and as I said still grief stricken but my story still fully needs so be said. My daughter's story including her own words needs to be continued to be heard. Not just for myself. Not even just for my daughter or for my stepson. But for every other alienated parent, every other alienated child of any age & every other person affected by parental alienation and the generations that will continue to gravely pass alienation down to every generation until the trauma is resolved.
Yeah, while I guess all that sounds noble, I am just trying to get through today to make sure I am bettering myself to be the healthiest, best person and best Mother I can be. One day they are going to come back home to me and I am determined when they do that I will fully, wholly and completely be that Mother & Stepmother that they once knew, once remembered and NEED more than ever. I NEVER lose the fact that if I think it was that evilly horrific and beyond traumatizing for me THAT it is NOTHING compared to what she or he went through and will for the rest of their lives. It just never had to of happen. There was absolutely no reason for it. It's just so sadly tragic.
I started this post with saying that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Do yourself the best thing to know THAT, to understand THAT and feel THAT with attending a Parental Alienation Anonymous Zoom Meeting. It's a community of other alienated parents and THEY UNDERSTAND... THEY ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH...I promise you that they will change your life.
PAA is not intended to get your kids back...
IT IS intended to GET YOUR LIFE BACK!
Basic Q&A’s About the Alienation
of my Daughter & Stepson
{The immediate family's alienating behavior is another thing. The courts & systems yet another thing)
When did my daughter's parental alienation start?
About my 6th month of pregnancy in 2004
At what age was my daughter actually taken?
My little girl was finally taken for good in this abusive father’s second and successful alienation attempt when she was only 6-1/2 years old. Just 2 weeks after she started 1st Grade.
How old is she now?
My daughter is now an adult at 21-1/2 years old.
Do I get to see or talk to my daughter?
Since age 6-1/2 until she became an adult and aged out of the court system I only saw my little girl for a grand total of 92-1/2 "Supervised" HOURS. Those measly few SUPERVISED hours were ALL scattered in the first 3 years, w/weeks, months, 1-1/2 years in between. Then for the next 6-1/2+ YEARS I was refused to have any contact with her. Finally in Spring 2020 in a true miracle I got to see her for 50 minutes (supervised by 2 therapists). Since becoming an adult and because she is a actress I have had 2 miraculous encounters with her after her performances in these last 3 years.
Do I have other children that are alienated from me?
Yes.I have a adult step-son (nearing age 40) who was in 8th grade when I became his StepMom. He was in college when my daughter was taken and also was instantly alienated at the same time. While my StepSon also still remains alienated he is a public figure and an actor so he frequently Is featured through the different media platforms and so it feels like I at least get to see him that way. Since he was alienated I have seen many of his performances and had one fabulous personal run-in with him at a show.
What was the FINAL method of alienation the father used?
This father’s final method of alienation in his second and successful attempt was filing his straight solid DECADE of overlapping, never-ending, continuous and repetitive false Orders of Protections, Harassment Orders and 8 attempted criminal charges with a plea-bargain of successfully getting 2 frivolous criminal charges. NO, he did NOT act alone to make all of this possible. And YES, this father had used this same method of the OFPs before she was even 1-1/2 years old.
What were the 2 criminal charges about?
Because he had Order of Protections against me technically the 2 criminal charges were for violating Order of Protections. The 2 frivolous non-violent criminal charges that happened were because:
1.) Right after he took her I was in the hospital and I tried to call her. The early court order stated my rights saying I have rights to call my child. So, of course I called my child from my hospital bed. So, there was conflicting information with the early divorce court orders and that OFP court order that happened at the same time. I had every reason to believe I could call my daughter. Apparently I couldn't because I guess the OFP court order trumpted the Divorce court order.
2.) That same year at Christmas time while he was still refusing to let me see my daughter and then on christmas, so I had emailed my lawyer and CC'd his lawyer asking what was the plan for telling her about Santa Clause presents that first year. I got a reply back from what I believed was his lawyer, however, his lawyer added this father to the email without my consent and without my knowledge so I believed I was responding back to his lawyer with my lawyer hitting "SEND ALL" with MY REPLY and my reply didn't just get sent to BOTH OUR LAWYERS but it ALSO got sent to THIS FATHER.
What prompted this father to finally take her?
…will answer soon..…
Welcome to She HAS a Mother.
If you are an alienated parent feeling isolated and broken, you are not alone. I am glad you found my website.
We recover by SHARING:
1. Our EXPERIENCE (what it was like),
2. Our STRENGTHS (what we are doing to take care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually & physically),
3. Our HOPE (our actions and intentions for the future).
I am an alienated Mother from my now adult daughter age 21-1/2 and my adult stepson nearing age 40 for more than the last 15-1/2 years. She was taken by her abusive father at age 6-1/2 on his 2nd and successful alienation attempt the day after he violently abused me while my little girl was trapped on the same couch still entangled in our blankets from the night before where she came downstairs, where I had been staying to keep safe from him, to ask me if she could sleep on the couch with me because she missed me.
for the last 15-1/2 years to my daughter who was taken by her father when she was 6-1/2 is now 21 years old and my step-son who is nearing 40 years of age. My daughter was taken by her father at age 6-1/2 in his second and successful alienation attempt by relying on false accuations filing back to back, overlapping Order of Protections (OFPs), Harassment Orders (HROs) and 8 attempted* criminal charges that went on for a solid never ending decade in the courts until my daughter aged out of the court system. During that time I was only "allowed" to see my daughter a total of 91-1/2 "supervised" HOURS. There has never been even one reason or one fact (let alone supported by any evidence or law provided) in the Family Courts to why I never got any physical or legal custody or why I only got to see my daughter those very few hours (let alone why I even had to be supervised). There was finally a light at the end of the tunnel in regards to the never ending court-cases
The tables finally turned when THAT head judge finally left our never-ending cases after 6+ years due to the fact she became an actual Supreme Court Justice. It took 3 years with 2 new judges and the now "disapperence all the court-ordered "professionals" to disappear
Finally, it took 2 new Judges and 3 years of fighting the most extreme false allegations attempting a 50 year OFP
attempt while falsely trying to charge me with a felony while forcing my daughter to testify against me It was then the new judges in the legal system finally stopped this father which took about 3 years.
My daughter alienation started in my pregnancy and she wasn't even 1-1/2 years old whe he first filed his first false OFP
“She HAS a Mother.” was first established back in 2016. At the time my alienated daughter had already been taken 5 years earlier when she was only 6-1/2 years old. The result of her wanting to come downstairs where I had been trying to keep safe from the father, and her little innocent self wanted to know if she could sleep with me on the couch because she missed me caused a 7:00am full out worst violent rage than ever before intentionally done in front of her as we were still entangled in our blankets on the couch. I came back to make sure she was okay. He
There had already been 5 lawyers that all but one quit my case stating this was too complicated and outside their legal scope of practice. My 3rd lawyer had already told me exactly what was happening and there had never even been a chance that I was ever going to get any custody and it had all been decided before I even walked into the courtroom concerning the divorce. The same Judge who refused to let me testify at this ex's false order of protection hearing
I figured out my daughter had again started another new doctor found in normal blocked information sent child support bills (no, and I immediately called up this new clinic to get her medical records. A VERY surprised, panicked receptionist screeched out loudly, “Her medical records say SHE DOESN’T HAVE A MOTHER!!!” He quickly stated he needed to end the call and if I wanted more information, I would have to prove who I was.
We recover by SHARING:
1. Our EXPERIENCE (what it was like),
2. Our STRENGTHS (what we are doing to take care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually & physically),
3. Our HOPE (our actions and intentions for the future).
I am grateful and thankful for the works of slightly more than a handful of the very recognized World-Known Parental Alienation EXPERTS and couple of well known Organizations.
that I've studied and taken courses (many free but paid as well)
(SHAM articles gears towards Karen Woodall's works)