I know I just titled this post asking a question of "HOW DO I even begin to explain more than 21 years of my daughter being alienated from me?" AND I while I feel that at THIS POINT after more than 21 years of trying to just simply do THAT at this point in time, that I ACTUALLY CAN. The FACTS do not ever change. BUT the facts on who wants to claim facts DO CHANGE and that is how this gets to over 21 YEARS of a child.. MY CHILD... My CHILD's entire childhood destroyed. My daughter had a failing childhood that is not to simply state that she first had a "clue" because IT WAS SHE ONLY KNEW and it WAS HER who so innocently only about the age of 3-3/4 years old TOLD ME WHAT HE HAD BEEN TELLING HER to INSTALL horrifying and terrorizing fear of HER OWN Mother having these mental psychotic "EPISODES!!!" These "episodes" that is man is trying to claim is referring to him starting to physically abuse me in the mist of narcisstic reaction abuse and will surprise you that the only form of abuse done to me that I am aware of is I feel he did not do SEXUAL ABUSE to me as I have gone through that, but this first form of abuse started when I was 7 months pregnant where the light switch happened and very distinctly in an agressive manner told that me that me "thinking" that I would ever be allowed to breastfeed WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN and from this point on HE WILL MAKE EVERY DECISION and IF YOU EVER TRY TO SAY ANYTHING THAT HE HAVE DECIDED HE WILL MAKE SURE that I WILL NEVER BE BELIEVED!
Honestly, in almost nearly a decade of SheHasAMother. of different various formats and mostly in these 4-5 years making sure my silenced words couldn't even be found to be read because everything that happened to me that has been used against me if and when I've just tried to bring the truth totally for my daughter, then for me and how & so I can help my daughter and to protect me would sound so simple, right? But hell, no... actually now that my daughter has been aged out of the courts and he can't illegally come after me with the courts legally making it able to do either and then MY DAUGHTER ISN'T ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST PFROBLEM in hell either... it is actually my own family in this Trans-Generational Alienation that is really where this issue in my situation that I feel that most pain and loss. It is my not my daughter or my step son's fault that they feel like I am disposable as their actual Mother and Step-Mother, but it's been the last 14 years of my family and identical twin that disposes me as a human that I I can only keep fighting and being here for my children's love. It's bad enough how parental alienation doesn't even have the enough stamina to get the recognize of the child abuse or a parent to be protected to stop this form of child abuse... the extend family and that trans-generational alienation help is still barley known. The legal side is what prevents e because of what has been done and is done.
Though all I really want to do is to stop being silenced so my daughter will never have to be silenced in her entire life if I am making this choice to again try to talk about it on social media which has always came back to haunt me in way over a decade form of sick entertainment for him to legally come after me I am not going to continue having She Has A Mother. I have my entire website with not being able to be discovered on anything website and I don't even trust trust that anymore.
I know I feel like I want to reach out on social media to get some feedback with this post...but there is so, so, so much fear involved with doing that but... but...
In the last few months I have been getting social media notifications from someone who has referred to themselves as being a "silenced mother"... For all these years as being SheHasHASaMother. the tagline was "a silenced mother who refuses to give up". I am going to research her and reach out if I should reach out to her. I feel good with doing that. UPDATE... NO, I am really not sure where this "silenced mother" update is coming from after looking on really the only safe "enough" social media sites I am not even comfortable to search on as I have been just so legally be falsely abused including my twin sister on, but I will say that all the posters I've checked out using the name associated with in any mix of being a "silenced mother" only has a couple to few posts. AND WHILE THAT DOESN'T SUPRISE ME because OF WHY I STILL FEAR TO SAY ANYTHING IS... I am... or am I... supposed to be... SUPRISED or FEEL FEAR???... that THIS ex... my daughter's father came up in the searches. What in the hell am I suppose to do this with information? I really do not know where to go with this. Social Media and using this with me and my twin sister was done over a decade. So, should I be safe and stay silenced from an abuser who has continue to legally falelsy claimed false allegagetions
I have an idea only because I am saying that out of fear BUT MORE FEAR is NOT saying it, or this, or any of this FOR MY DAUGHTER and THEN just need to talk or wanting to make anything better I do still fear it. I have this idea to just do THIS post to see how anyone responds to this. With saying that, which saying that it doesn't matter if anyone wants to respond I realize that is opposite what I want to do because I know there are over 20 million families (erasing parent) so I know I'm not alone and our children are not alone and when it gets to the severity of over 21 years IT NEVER GETS EASIER and I'm just a Mommy trying to fix what never HAD TO HAPPEN in the first place. Why would it ever happen your your little innocent baby? Why would you not want the absolute best for your baby? That is what I will never understanfd. . AND I am litterally stopping myself because I just went on with these courts... I can't... I can't anymore with ANYTHING OF THE PAST... my daughter not only doesn't care about the past almost fully because she does not remember the past or maybe she will never member her past as the truth, but most likely only remember her past that was manipulated and was horribly abusively done.