Extreme Severe Parental Alienation & Trans-Generational PA Trauma
Unspoken wounds fester and unresolved loss and trauma returns, generation after generation until it is resolved.
ONLY BY Recognizing and Fulfilling
THE NEED to GRIEVE THE LIFE the Alienated CHILD
DESERVED and SHOULD HAVE HAD
WILL HEALING the SCARS BEGIN.
extreme severe parental alienation
In a second alienation attempt there is a straight solid 12 years of all 3 Courts of the Judical System, the threats and the promises that if I tried to ever tell anyone that I would never be believed and I would never exist in their lives just as I had never existed even in the first place. It is been more than 21 years and those threats and promises are tragically true as promised. I was "allowed" to see my daughter for a total of 92-1/2 "supervised" HOURS in the beginning few years after age 6. In 12 YEARS of family court records there is NOT even ONE reason, ONE cause, ONE explaination for the reason I lost all physical and legal custody or why I never got to see my daughter except for those 92-1/2 "supervised" hours from age 6-18 which then she was aged out of court. This Family Court Judge became a Supreme Court Justice. There has been NO Justice and there will NEVER BE.
An innocent childhood stolen at the hands of her father and the Family Court System.
for children who have no words,
our voices may be the only hope they have.
Words of my
alienated daughter
2023
"Why did i wake up screaming?
Is there nothing more we can do,
to make it stop?
By all accounts
it's in no one's hands
I tried to reach out for help,
But my cries were ignored,
So I hid behind my magic,
And kept my sadness stored.
In the end, all fades away,
No trace of what we've been,
And in the silence we lay,
Mere relics of a world that's been.
I yearn to break free,
to be seen and heard
To be more than just a bystander,
a blurred image
in a world where identity's slurred
“Parental Alienation is about the hidden toxicity of generations, of psychological disorder which is hidden in the family or normalized, it is about terrorization of others by an unwell person, it is about a system being poisoned and children being held captive in plain sight.” ~ Karen Woodall
“ALIENATION is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s
ALIENATING BEHAVIOR is too devastating for most people to bear without help.” ~ PAA
“The child’s best therapist is the rejected parent.” ~ Karen Woodall
“These now-adult children are cut off from their authentic parent
and don’t yet have a road back.” ~ Craig Childress
“Parental alienation is a generational game of splitting, of dividing the world into good and bad
and its dynamics are complex, dangerous and deeply damaging to children, their families and
the practitioners who work with them.” ~ Karen Woodall
“The result of living with hidden trauma and the hidden trauma is the negative projection which rejected parents are being forced to carry every day of their lives” – Karen Woodall
trans-generational pa trauma
– Karen Woodall
Transgenerational haunting passes trauma through the family narrative in the form of secrets and lies and half-truths. It consists of knowing and unknowing and of unspoken things which are seen and heard but half-forgotten or buried, like treasure, or ghosts, in the unconscious. Haunting of this nature can control a family system and can cause children to carry burdens which are not theirs and it can put at risk the next generation if trauma is carried through without resolution.
It is as if the whole family lives in a world of their own and in fact that is exactly what they do. A case of trans-generational trauma transmission, requires that anyone who is involved with the family on an intimate level, must conform to the internalized, often highly secretive narrative of the family. To be unable or unwilling to do so, demands that the person be excluded, silenced, shunned and shamed. This is because within the internalized walls of these families, within the inter-psychic subjective life of the family lies a secret. This secret is so secret that it is either unknown by the family members, was known but is split off into the unconscious or is known and deliberately kept hidden. Depending upon whose secret it is and how far back in the generational line the secret goes, inter-psychic relationships to and with the secret will be adapted to suit the need to keep this secret. The secret, which is never spoken about with words, is part of the unconscious life of the growing child who will, in some situations, seek to manifest an opportunity to resolve the unresolved by recreating a scenario which is similar to the original wound.
A case of alienation of a child can, in this context, be thought of as a defense against the disintegration of the intra-subjective life of the family or the atmosphere. A case of trans-generational trauma transmission, requires that anyone who is involved with the family on an intimate level, must conform to the internalized, often highly secretive narrative of the family. To be unable or unwilling to do so, demands that the person be excluded, silenced, shunned and shamed. The parent who has been cast out/or who has left the family but who has refused to go away without a relationship with the child, is felt to be an interloper or intruder into the internal world of the family left behind. If we think about the birth of a child in a family affected by trans-generational transmission of trauma, as being a risk factor for the family secret to be revealed, it is easy to see why many parents are evicted from the family when they will not allow baby to be brought up in the way which is necessary to keep the family internally regulated.
The atmosphere of alienation is suffocating, it is foggy, and it is quite often bewildering in the way that the spoken narrative is broken and not linear. The past is not another country in these families, it is happening right now, alongside the here and now and it is manifested in ways which can only be interpreted because they cannot be easily understood cognitively.
If you are living this, you will know it.
If you are working with families affected by alienation, you need to know it.
In many of the families I work with, generational patterns of estrangement are very apparent. Children born to such unions will inherit that felt sense of conflict and danger and so goes the march of the next generation.
How a family deals with conflict, through cutting someone out and sending them to Coventry, through not speaking to someone for decades at a time and through avoiding the reality of the unspoken by ignoring or avoiding it, is passed down through generations.
"The alienation-aware practitioner
KNOWS further investigation on
BOTH SIDES of the FAMILY IS NECESSARY"
As an alienated mother for almost 16 years i can safely say that while it never gets easier it does change as i learn to find new ways to cope and new ways to heal.
she has a mother has been my personal journey since 2016. I hope these resources are as helpful to you as they have been for me over the years.
These Help Basics are a must for alienated
parents and alienated children of all ages!